Do you believe in karma?
How can I shout it out loud for the people in the back to hear? Yes, I believe in karma. I feel like I’m paying for something right now. I must have done some dirty, evil type shit in my past life… I have been unemployed for 9 months and my so called love life stinks. Let me not continue, karma is real, don’t do unto others what you don’t want to be done to you!
Pharma did it again and this time I am hooked. I am part of that celebrity cult who wants to look thin and beautiful. Problem is, I’m missing the money, the money that covers those flaws that pharma didn’t tell you that would happen.
As a young adult I realized I was condemned to having very little hair to none at all. Then, GLP-1 happened. Like everyone else I was excited to take it, I would finally lose weight. It was trial run, the lower doses were not doing anything to me and my sugar levels were not improving. Doctor, “we are going to raise the dose and with diet you will start seeing the change.” Of course I want to put faith on someone who has a higher education, they should know best, right? New dose and my steps started improving, finally shedding some weight. Within a year of taking it, I had lost 30 lbs and I started looking physically sick. Doctor never mentioned the side effects and was not sure what to expect but who cares, I was losing weight.
The side effects are no joke. Constipation was terrifying. Had to learn how to eat differently and managed to start drinking more water. Losing the weight in all the wrong places. Legs look like sticks, butt is no more and kinda zaggy. It almost looks like a shriveled grape. Some inches fell from my core but not enough to wear a crop. My brother says I look like Gru from Dispecable Me. So just imagine! The one thing I wished they would have told me, that maybe then I would have said no to the shot, them telling me I would lose my hair.
A little too late to take it back. If I get off of it, I will blow up like a balloon and for sure have type 2 diabetes. Almost 2 years on it and scared that my new upcoming insurance won’t pay for it. I seriously am comparing myself to a meth addict, I just can’t let go.
Im a full blown adult with many complications in life, having alopecia is one. Maybe, the second one is not being girly enough. So, here is the million dollar question, how do you wig? Baseball caps and hair fibers are really not cutting it now. Im starting to think that corporations won’t give me a job due to my esthetic.
Many young looking men, yes I said men, are out here rocking these wigs with so much pride and yet this grown tomboy doesn’t know where to start. I need a mentor, someone who has the patience of a monk, to please advice and teach me. Society doesn’t need to know how bad I’m suffering, we just need to fake it til we make it!
Not everyone mourns the same, not everyone dies the same, not everyone hurts the same… Today, I lost a friend, more like a second mother and my emotions are not the same. It could be that I am still in a state of shock or just so many deaths around that I am becoming immune to death.
I usually run to the arms of a stranger to feel some sort of comfort, even look for sex to fulfill that emptiness that I find in my soul. Today, I do not want to look for that, today I want to sit and think. Will it make it any better or will it make me feel better no, but it will make realize those wonderful moments I had with her. I just wish from the bottom of my heart that she is in a better place.
